Managing life

Can You Get To 10 Out of 10?

Posted on by in Energy Healing, Goal Achievement, Job Search, Learning, Managing life, Mindfulness, motivation, Personal transformation, Self, Self-help | Leave a comment

 

I love rating scales because it can instantly bring awareness of gaps as well as increases in confidence, performance, and satisfaction. My clients sign off that their branded content, whether a résumé, LinkedIn profile, biography or cover letter is a 10 out of 10 before it becomes final.

When I first start speaking with a prospective client a key question I ask is how they rate their momentum toward their next goal on a scale of 1-10. If they’re already at a 7+, it’s clear they have a lot working in their favor already and they’re looking to make sure that they can sustain such momentum or give it a small boost. If they’re anywhere lower, which most are, it’s critical that I diagnose why their momentum is so low and devise a plan that will get them to a 9 or 10 within a three month period.

Last week I asked my students to rate their confidence in interviewing before and after they did group peer mock interviews. This was an experimental format and I wanted to know if it was effective. Their ratings proved that it was effective at bumping them up a notch or two, so that everyone was at least a 7+.  Then I asked, “What will it take for you to feel like a 10.”

A few interesting things were revealed.

Most of them wanted to be interviewed by ME, believing that it would more closely mimic an employer interview because my experience would lead me to ask harder questions and they would be more nervous about my opinion since I give them a grade.

So, they felt confident and more comfortable but wanted to be put into more stressful conditions to really test their performance. I thought this was a very self-aware and astute observation, indicating to me that they truly had gained more confidence, but wanted to challenge themselves.

Another revelation for one student was that she didn’t feel she would ever be a 10. Wow! This was a truly courageous revelation to acknowledge and share. It was an opportunity to further increase their self-awareness of how their belief systems influence their behavior.

It may be a Job Search and Preparation course, but if I only focused on the pragmatic steps of job search, the students would not apply the steps with integrity, achieve the outcomes I intend for them or acquire the life skill of being accountable for their own success. With Cabrini’s blessing, I also incorporate into the course science-based mindfulness, emotional intelligence, mindset management, interpersonal communication and influence, and project management.

If this or any of these students maintain the belief that they will not achieve the ultimate whatever (job, lifestyle, confidence, self-image, etc.), their brain’s motivational systems will fail to fire and they will become victims of confirmation bias, never realizing that the “evidence” they see, and that their ultimate X is impossible because of a filter that they programmed.

While they are learning how to use storytelling to influence others into action (in their major and in their job search,) they are now getting more clear about the stories that formed their beliefs and how those beliefs and stories are shaping their behavior and their results in life.

This student’s homework, which was suggested for any and all students, was to journal with the intention of identifying the source of the story that she would never reach 10, and in doing so recognizing it as a story, not a truth. Then I also shared with them a video about how to reinforce a different story – a story in which they are their best selves enjoying all of the success, joy, and outcomes that coincide with the belief of being worthy and capable of reaching 10.

Where do you rate yourself in various realms of your life?

Do you hold the belief that 10 is unreachable?

If 10 is possible (which it is), what gaps need to be filled in to experience that?

 

Unknown Brain – Perfect 10 (Lyrics) feat. Heather Sommer

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Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. 

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She is an Adjunct Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department and previously was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business  She is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where her students won the 2018 national competition and were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs.

Jon and Missy Butcher Bring Sexy Back

Posted on by in Careers, Managing life, Sex | Leave a comment

Part 6 in the MindValley Reunion=Mind Blown series, which continues next week

http://mylifebook .com/blog/jon-butcher-before-and-after/

 

The picture above is Jon Butcher at 29 and at 49.

You may not recognize Jon and Missy Butcher, but I’ll bet you know what Precious Moments are. Jon’s father is the original artist, and Jon now runs that company plus a multitude of other successful businesses.

He’s been introduced as having the “most perfect life” and he and his wife, Missy, were brought up on stage at the MindValley Reunion with the moniker “Sexiest Grandparents Alive.”

We saw a video recorded in their home. It’s hard not to envy them. Their house is one of the most artful, inspiring homes that exists on the planet. Jon is responsible for a lot of the art, but certainly, along with Missy, is the visionary behind his reality, which is probably even more exotic, exciting and serene, even, as you could imagine in your wildest dreams.

I cannot share a lot of the content of what they shared with us at the MindValley Reunion in San Diego last month, because they are private people and the live audience was much like a pilot test group to see how their most intimate secrets would be received. The topic was very adult in nature.

Here is what I feel is okay to share: They attribute their ability to create such a life-by-design to their sex life and their habits.

It’s not the first time I’ve heard this, actually. The concept of orgasmic manifestation goes back to the Kama Sutra, perhaps even further. It was something on my radar that I had been investigating even before the MindValley Reunion.

This practice is based on the fundamental belief that sexual energy is the #1 most powerful creation energy there is, and that it can be harnessed to bring forth in your life what you want most.

If you didn’t know this about me already, I am a personal and professional development junkie. I love learning about new discoveries or new applications of ancient discoveries, and the science behind them, to help me and to help others achieve new breakthroughs in careering that lead to greater fulfillment and happiness in other realms of life. I consider my life to be a lab where I can experiment with these concepts, and pass on to you what I found worked.

I cannot yet speak to this particular kind of practice, but I have every intention of trying it.

I did invest in multiple other programs at the Reunion, which is actually against my best practices of only doing one program at a time, enhancing my chances of doing a program well and getting the most out of it. I am in three programs right now, one being MyLo. This is an online program based off of Jon and Missy’s live Lifebook program, which provides structure and guidance around creating habits that achieve balance in 12 critical realms of life, one of which is love, but is not specific to sex.

While, as I mentioned, I cannot break my commitment to keep the intimate content confidential, and I have not officially started the MyLo program yet to share any results, I would very much like to share with you my takeaways from the event that were specific to sex for couples.

#1 – Stay sexy for each other. This was not really a lesson they taught as much as it was something that they demonstrated. Honestly, I’ve let myself go in the last year or so. I had reached a great size and felt strong, but some of the attention from people outside my marriage started to feel uncomfortable. My husband is not very particular about what shape I am in, but I know that I feel sexy and confident when I feel strong and lean, when my clothes fit well and flatter me, and when I have stamina to do very active, adventurous things. In my own introspection I have recognized a resentment of any expectation to be some kind of Stepford wife. I value comfort and utility more than I value superficial beauty. I can clean up real nice and know how to dress up and apply make-up, but I don’t invest a lot of time or energy to it. Part of my M.O. is rebellion. I will be the only parent at the bus stop in pajamas. Part of what I love about running a home-based business is NOT having to dress up and put on make-up every day. That consumes time that I could be using to accomplish something, help someone, write this blog, meditate, whatever. I have been more consciously choosing to wear clothes that I find comfortable, but that make me feel more feminine and sensual around my husband.

#2 – Make making time a priority, a habit, and a pleasure. I’ve heard other relationship coaches promote a weekly date night, or sex night. What Jon and Missy put into their date nights are definitely an extreme upgrade from the conventional dinner or movie and a romp. They encourage you to invest time in the planning and primping and have some best practices to optimize the focus on intimacy and block out all potential disruptions, including updates on the kids from babysitters, barring there isn’t an emergency, of course. They have tricks for bringing in all the senses – smell, taste, feel, sight, hearing. They encourage you to use this time, not for business, but for discussing what you want to create in the future – places you want to travel, fun projects you want to work on together. Of course, they also dedicate an hour daily to reconnecting and relaying the business of the day.

#3 – There is a lot of junk around sex – I’m talking about shame, guilt, resentment, fears, insecurities, etc. that completely detract from the level of pure enjoyment that is possible. It’s a pity. It’s not easy to just leave in the past, either. It can manifest in so many ways, and like all emotions, what we resist persists, so if we fail to address it because it is such a taboo topic in our society, it will show up as a saboteur without our conscious awareness. Not sex itself, but all the negative emotions around it, can be a relationship killer when it could be what helps us feel connected with our carnal, sensual nature.

This sounds pretty common sense, doesn’t it? The key isn’t just knowing, however – it’s doing, and doing consistently, which means forming habits. Habits enable you to put on autopilot. Once something is a habit, you don’t have to think about it, you don’t have to decide. It’s something that is done. Jon and Missy have mastered the art and science of creating good, meaningful habits that have built the foundation for a Epic life. I am very excited to start learning, and certainly to master for myself, this system.

In the meantime, I believe their very exotic secrets are being reserved only for the MindValley community. You can go there if you want to know more. You can also attend Laurie-Ann King’s free webinar on the Orgasmic Manifesting System. It is on my list of courses to explore further once I complete the 6-week MyLO course. Unlike Missy and Jon’s program, which seemed to be very focused on couples, Laurie’s course starts with a self-serve tutorial, and does not require a partner at all, though she does then move into how to manifest with a partner.

So, what does this have to do with careers?

Jon and Missy created LifeBook to make sure that all realms of their lives received equal attention, effort and love for a truly balanced life. We tend to think we can compartmentalize our lives and keep one bad area from impacting the good ones. That just isn’t how I have seen life working.

Sometimes achieving a breakthrough in your career first starts with a breakthrough in your health, and vice versa. Often a breakthrough in a relationship evolves into a breakthrough in your finances.

You may want a coach who can strictly focus on your career, and there are plenty of them out there. For the past several years, however, as I have started to take what I am learning and applying it to my career coaching, the results have been astounding. Now that I know that I can not only help my clients land a job, but help them achieve a peace of mind that they have never had before, I don’t want to be limited in how I serve my clients to just their careers.

I see much more clearly now how often you can trace back why someone isn’t successful in an interview to an event in their past that had them believing that they were not good under pressure, or had to be ashamed of something.

I also see how some people are investing a whole lot of energy and hope to land a job that ultimately will not bring them fulfillment and a sense of purpose.

 

If your life is something you desire to improve, look beyond the surface. Evaluate other areas of your life. How you do one thing is often how you do many things.

Justin Timberlake – SexyBack (Director’s Cut) ft. Timbaland

Justin Timberlake’s official director’s cut music video for ‘Sexyback’. Click to listen to Justin Timberlake on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/JTSpot?IQid=SexyBDC As featured on FutureSex/LoveSounds. Click to buy the track or album via iTunes: http://smarturl.it/JTFSLSITunes?IQid=SexyBDC Google: http://smarturl.it/JTSDCPlay?IQid=SexyBDC Amazon: http://smarturl.it/JTFSLSAmz?IQid=SexyBDC More from Justin Timberlake Rock Your Body: https://youtu.be/TSVHoHyErBQ Suit & Tie.

 

How to Be Honest About Interviewing for a New Job with Your Current Boss

Posted on by in Employment Situation, Managing life | Leave a comment


A client of mine is under extreme scrutiny at work. His company is bleeding talent and they are on high alert for critical people that they could lose.

He, like me, has no poker face. He was confronted directly by his boss after we updated his LinkedIn profile. He found out with his answer whether or not he was looking for another opportunity. He wondered what he was justified in telling them, but he still wanted to be honest because that is his nature.  He knows the topic will come up again, especially because he will be interviewing soon.

We brainstormed some ways to deal with inquiries about his job seeking activities honestly, but without putting his job at risk.

Realistically, even if they knew that he was looking, they can’t afford to just fire him. But he also can’t afford a ding on his record, nor could he sustain his current standard of living for his family if he had to spend any time unemployed.

Below are things that you could say to minimize concerns while still being able to deliver a genuine answer.

Reasons why you need time off of work:

  • “I have an appointment.” This may or may not be sufficient for some employers. Technically, they are not allowed to inquire about anything medical. Keeping it vague may not alleviate concerns completely, but you may at least escape further inquiry for the moment. If pressed further, or to be preemptive, choose the next option.
  • “I have to resolve a matter.” This me, again, be too vague to alleviate concerns, but it may change the perception from you interviewing, to perhaps a legal matter.
  • “There is an event that I’m hoping will make me a better performer.”  This doesn’t immediately sound like an interview, but it is the truth in cases of when you are feeling inhibited in your performance by the conditions of your current employment. If you are asked more about this event, tell your boss that you are uncertain how valuable it will be, so you will let him or her know afterward. Then, if asked afterward, you may be able to share some insight or intelligence you learned in your interview.
  • “I have to tend to a personal matter.” This could be a stretch for us types. You would have to genuinely change your perception of a career from something professional to something that’s truly personal to you. Considering how much our career impacts other realms of our lives, this isn’t too far of a stretch. Most bosses back off from inquiring further about personal matters, unless they feel it is something that is impacting your performance.

When asked flat out if you are seeking another job, here are some answers that allow you to be honest while still securing your current position:

  • “Let me ask you – can you assure me that my job is 100% secure and that you can accommodate the growth that I seek in responsibility and income?”  This is potentially adversarial, and only works in situations where your reasons for seeking other employment is an uncertainty around the security of your future at your company. Everyone has the right to protect their source of income. This can open up good conversation between you and your boss around improvements and conditions that would make staying at your current employer better.
  • “Well, you know. Everybody wants me. I am a top commodity.” When I envision delivering this answer, I envision it to be delivered in a humorous manner, but you have to keep your audience in mind, and it has to feel natural to you. You may expect further inquiry. The facts are, that if you are valuable talent, your bosses should always expect that you are being recruited and do everything possible to retain you.
  • “I have met with other companies to discuss opportunities, but I intend to stay.” What you are not saying, is how long you intend to stay. Again, this could feel like a stretch of the truth, and you may ultimately feel worse when you do have to give your notice and it comes as a shock.

If you have not yet tried to address with your boss the conditions that inspire you to want to seek another opportunity, I recommend that you try that first. I don’t necessarily recommend that you tell your boss that you have thought about looking elsewhere, but instead to approach your boss from a place of wanting to make things better for the whole team. As in, “these are things that I have noticed.” And you will also want to come to the conversation with a list of possible solutions. If your concerns and solutions are not heard, considered, or implemented, any good boss would expect you to be looking elsewhere. Then again, any good boss would hear, considerate, and implement some of your solutions, given that they are reasonable. Also, most good bosses will be proactive about making sure that they know where you stand and what they can do to make you the leader you want to be.

 

Chances are good that you have had to take off of work for an interview. What have you said to your boss about where you were going?

John Lennon – Gimme Some Truth (Lyrics)

Read the title 🙂

Alternatives to Medication for Anxiety and Depression

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Meditation by Mitchell Joyce of Flickr

 

Two weeks ago I spoke to job seekers about forming habits, and I would be remiss if I did not address the emotional and psychological obstacles we often face to forming good job transition habits, including depression and anxiety. Though I did not ask anyone to speak up if they were suffering from anxiety or depression, several heads were shaking in affirmation and a few hands rose when I broached the subject.

The risk of depression and anxiety are very real during any life change, including job loss. I am not a licensed psychologist, but my relationship with my clients does often border on therapist, and I have to understand my limits and know where to turn my clients when I have reached the limitations of my capabilities and they need more help.

Why am I addressing this now? My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD in February. The learning disabilities, anxiety, depression, as well as stubbornness that run rampant through my husband’s family led many down a path of self-medication that did not end well for several of them. I have needed to explore all options and learn as much as I can about the side effects, primary and secondary, short-term and long-term of medications for all of the above. Of course, this research will be life-long.

Whatever I share with you today could be negated by new science tomorrow. The take away that I feel is most important for you, is to explore ALL of the options and educate yourself vigilantly before you take anyone’s recommendation, including a doctor. Just because it is prescribed, does not mean it is the best solution. What works for others, may not work for you. Your family or personal history may mean that even if a medication could ease the symptoms, it can lead to worse dependencies or risks of mis-dosing or overdose.

With the recent tragic loss of Chris Cornell to suicide and the public announcement of his wife that it was caused by an overdose of anxiety medication, many conversations this weekend revolved around pharmaceuticals, advertisements, side effects being worse than the condition, and class action suits.

I am not sharing conclusions, and do not claim to have conclusions or recommendations for anyone else, but I came across some significant findings in my search that could help you if you start to recognize signs of depression or anxiety in yourself.

First, HERE is a website that discusses the efficacy of various drugs treating General Anxiety Disorder based on response, remission, and adverse events.

You may find that the efficacy of alternatives to medication may not seem as strong when it comes to response, and the scientific studies on those alternatives do not seem to test based on all three measures of efficacy.

Some, however, have proven to be almost just as effective as anti-anxiety medications, including cognitive behavioral therapy. If it alone is not optimally effective, medication can be prescribed as a compliment, but be aware that some medications can actually decrease the efficacy of simultaneous psychotherapy. For many of these medications, you are NOT advised to withdrawal without the direction of your doctor and gradual decreasing of dosages, so if you find the side effects intolerable, you cannot just stop taking it.

Though this study of 37,333 patients found that medications were more effective than psychotherapies generally, but certain psychotherapies had higher than average efficacy, including mindfulness therapies (such as meditation).  Exercise proved effective, but not as effective as a placebo, and I could not find studies (among the surface search results) that tested exercise plus therapy, but if you are concerned about the side effects of medications, considering the health benefits of both, it seems worth trying first.

Here is another study, one of many, that purports that meditation is an effective way to ease symptoms of anxiety. Yet another study followed up with anxiety patients who had participated in an 8-week outpatient meditation-based program three years later, and found that the program had long-term benefits for participants, even for those who discontinued meditation, though most did not.

I also found a small study that proved spiritual healing was effective in treating depression and anxiety with just 10 minutes for three consecutive days, but the measure and scale the efficacy was presented in was different, and I would love someone who understands these studies better to shed some light on a scale-to-scale comparison.  I suppose that insurance would not cover this type of treatment, which may discourage you from trying it. Finding a trustworthy provider may also prove to be a challenge.

Studies that used music as a therapy across the board had inconsistent results for coronary heart disease patients, but had more consistent positive results when the patients chose the music.

This article obviously is not the result of exhaustive research, and, as I mentioned, results of new studies are released nearly every day. At a minimum, you can see that there are viable alternatives to medication for depression and anxiety.

An issue, however, that I must mention, is that too many people who suffer do NOT seek out any help, in spite of the options. Like the loved ones I lost, too many fail to seek out help or choose to supplement, translate or ignore a doctor’s recommendations in harmful ways. Reasons can include the need to be self-reliant, a fear of doctors, a stigma against getting such help, or an unwillingness or inability to sacrifice vices for wellness. As we have seen, it can have tragic outcomes.

 

For those we have lost, those we are losing, and to those we have yet to lose, I can only hope it is not in vain, and that others may find hope and healing where you could not, and rest in eternal peace.

 

The Last 2 of 7 Methods of Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs

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Broken Wall by Mike Kruger of Flickr

 

Have you taken the 7-day challenge to identify who is REALLY in control of your career decisions?

Have you tried any of the first 5 methods I shared to overcome self-limiting beliefs?

I would be very interested in hearing if you did, what results you found, and if you have found one that works best for you.

This week I will share two more, but this list is by no means exhaustive. I have learned over 30 methods in the past nine years.

These last two are the methods I learned most recently, and they are extremely powerful. You will have to be brave to try them, and have a strong imagination. You may feel silly, but until you try it, you have no idea how much you had to release, nor how light and free you can feel by releasing it. The point is to make room for new, better things to happen in your life.

 

Re-parenting Yourself

As much as our parents loved us and had good intentions to raise us well, they are human. They come to the parenting job with their own “baggage.” By baggage, I mean belief systems that may have been limiting their own potential. Their world continually proves their beliefs right, and so it is hard to recognize that the belief started with a story, not a fact or a truth. They then pass it on to you, in hopes of saving you from pain, suffering, and disappointment.

Then, of course, now that we are adults, we are more aware of the pressure and stress that comes along with being an adult, and how that can impact our ability to be our highest self, to cope with the needs of others, and to respond instead of react. We do not always say what we mean, and we do not always speak from the heart. Actually, we can be downright hurtful, and in those moments can wound others, just as others wounded us. As I have heard, “Hurt people hurt people,” or, “Those who cause suffering are suffering.”

The way to stop this cycle is to heal your wounds and be the parent to your younger self that you wish your parents could have been for you.

The exercise goes as follows:

  1. First, know what you want to heal. Pick a limiting belief.
  2. Get into your highest self. While sitting, allow source energy to enter your vibration by being mindful of your breath, moving deeply in and out.
  3. Imagine a column of light coming from above entering through the crown of your head while also imagining your body as a conductor of light and energy, sending it down your chakras through your feet into the earth, where deep within it hits a mirror and bounces back up through you, up through your chakras, and back up.
  4. Feel all of your cells humming with the vibration of pure love.
  5. Go to a mirror and look into your left eye, imagining it is the eye of your younger self.
  6. Ask your younger self to tell you what happened – why you started to believe in limits.
  7. ALLOW the pain to surface – DO NOT stifle it. Keep breathing!
  8. Spend 90 seconds fully embracing the pain, breathing through it, looking into your left eye, and empathizing with your younger self.
  9. Breathe until you have shed all signs of the pain from your body, and the child in your eye shows you relief.
  10. Then tell your little one what he or she needs to hear – words of encouragement, unconditional love, the truth of how infinite you are, how powerful you are, and how deserving you are.
  11. Reassure your younger self that all will be okay, that you are there for him or her, and always will be.

Yes, you may feel silly doing this at first, but I am really excited to hear if you felt as I did – lighter, healed, open, expansive, and ready to take on anything! Send me a private message if you care to, but if you are brave enough to share, please do.

 

Sending Monster-sized Love

My first official coach, the one who helped me plan and follow the path to being a coach from my recruiting days, was the first person who shared with me that we have “gremlins.” Gremlins are our inner critics, the voiced that tend to speak up and discourage us from playing big in our life. Gremlins are the spokesmonsters of our limiting beliefs. They represent our fears and insecurities. You may have also heard them referred to as demons or glitches, as though you have a bug in your system that needs fixing.

In this method, you will repeat steps 1 through 4 from above. Then, follow the steps below. Like the method above, you will need to be brave and use your imagination. The objective is to disempower the gremlin, befriend it, and see it for what it really is while you see yourself for what you really are – infinitely powerful.

  1. Close your eyes and imagine there is a knock at your door.
  2. When you open your door, you see a monster, and this monster represents the thing that you fear, hate, resent – the thing you feel holds you back. It could be money, it could be career success, or it could be love.
  3. It is trying its best to scare you – showing you teeth and claws, making scary sounds, and seeming very angry. Don’t let it. Invite it inside to sit down.
  4. As before, focus on your breath, but also check in on your heartbeat, temperature, and muscle tension.
  5. While looking this monster in the eye, mentally manipulate your breath to be slow and deep, will your heartbeat to slow down and release all tension in your muscles.
  6. Reconnect with the light flowing through your cells, imagining a ball of light and love forming in front of your heart.
  7. Physically hold your hands around this imaginary ball in front of your heart. You may even slowly and slightly move your hands together and apart until you sense the energy of the ball.
  8. Draw even more light and love in to your body, filling all of your cells to overflow into the ball.
  9. When it feels full, send the ball to your monster and notice the surprise on your monster’s face. You can sense that it is starting to give up trying to scare you and is feeling love, while at the same time you are feeling happy to be with your monster, spending time getting to know each other.
  10. Imagine now how your monster feels, and empathize with how long your monster went without feeling love.
  11. If your monster could talk, what would it tell you?
  12. Reassure your monster that from now on, you are on the same team.
  13. Allow yourself to feel proud for confronting and converting your monster.

My coach had shared that she had her clients blow up balloons and draw their monster on it. Then they would yell at the balloon, tell it who was boss, and pop it. I once fell into an arrow on the soft part of my neck to break the arrow that represented a self-limiting belief of unworthiness. I have also burned the list of 20 self-limiting money beliefs that I had about money during a full moon ceremony.

 

There are a lot of things that you can do to break through barriers to a better life, and taking action to do so is almost always rewarded somehow.

Not all of these methods may resonate with you. Some are certainly more scientific, while some are more cognitive or spiritual.

I am indifferent as to which methods you try, but I encourage you to try at least one, and share with me what difference it made to you.

 

5 of 7 Methods of Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs for Career Breakthrough, Part 2

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Stella 4 by Abir Anwar of Flickr

 

Don’t be too surprised to discover that there have been deep-seeded beliefs that have been making decisions for you. This is a blessing and a curse of our brain. The most important thing to realize is if these beliefs are serving our optimal growth or inhibiting it.

I shared 20 limiting beliefs that I discovered about money, wealth, abundance and worthiness. This was critical for me to uncover, because while I had a record year last year and feel I turned a corner in my business that will enable me to bring game-changing solutions into the world, I would have already liked to have these solutions into the hands of the people who need them to move forward in their career. Then they would already be making a bigger, more meaningful difference to the people they lead and the causes they move forward.

I also shared 3 of 7 methods I have learned from mentors, coaches, and even healers from over the past nine years to overcome limiting beliefs that direct our actions and become habits that run on autopilot unless we interrupt and replace them. We might as well start there:

 

Interrupt, replace, reinforce

Like a couple of the methods I shared last week, Dr. David Bach’s simple yet effective method incorporates the mind-body connection, but starts first with an awareness and manipulation of your physiology, rather than your mindset. His objective is to help us stay in the “zone,” or “flow” of high performance consistently, but it will start very gradually as you practice and become more mindful, building good habits as you go.

As his first volunteer, I was skeptical that I would find it so easy. I came to an event where he was speaking in a state of frustration and disappointment with me. At the time my daughters were three and four, and had tested my patience prior to leaving, making me late, which always makes me frazzled. My patience failed. I absolutely hate leaving my girls on bad terms. I was less interested in how to be a business superstar, and more concerned about being a nurturing, patient mom who did not inadvertently instill limiting beliefs in my daughters (though I feel at some level I am bound to – I already teach many of these methods to them).

He had me come up and reenact what I was like when I was the “ugly” mom, as I called it. There, in front of mostly strangers, I had to reveal how I am that makes me the most ashamed. For the sake of my daughters, and science, I bent over at the waist, pretending my knee and thigh high daughters were standing in front of me. My lips pursed, my eyebrows narrowed toward my nose, my pointer finger shook, and with a raised voice I asked a common question, “How many times do I have to tell you to do XYZ before you actually do it?!” I looked up at the 45-50 or so people there to find that they were looking at me just as my daughters do, a bit frozen and afraid. Face flushed and hoping for some mercy, I was very anxious to put an end to this horrifying display and be told the solution. First, he pointed out my body language, how I was standing, and my closed off, jerky movement. Then he asked everyone to notice my strenuous facial expression and tone of voice.

Then he had me reenact what I’m like when I am in the flow with my daughters. I had to remember a time when I felt like I was “winning” at parenting. Sadly, I realized that these moments were few and far between. I did recall, however, a time in the past week when I figured out how to inspire my girls to cooperate and complete a task joyfully by turning it into a game. I stood up straight, even leaning slightly back, I was talking with a smile, and my eyes, also smiling, were wide with excitement as I explained the rules of the game, as well as the prize, in a higher pitched, but softer voice. Again, he pointed out my body language, facial expression and tone. It was the same posture that I tend to embody when I am speaking, singing, or teaching – tasks that I enjoy and when I feel most in the flow.

For one last demonstration, he asked me to ask the same question of my daughters, with the same tone of voice, but while I was maintaining the body language and facial expression of the second reenactment. It made me giggle. It felt so unnatural. He pointed out that it was impossible to be both at the same time. I have since learned from other teachers that you cannot be in a positive state of mind and at the same time be in a negative state of mind. You can switch back and forth, but this is why when you are scared, if you think of something that makes you happy, the fear disappears, at least temporarily while you hold the happy thought.

So his technique is to notice and manipulate your physicality to mimic the same physicality you embody when you are in the flow, every time you notice you are not in the flow. Just like any new habit, it will take repetition to reinforce, and you may find it harder to practice under times of stress. You may even choose NOT to practice at times. Be forgiving of yourself, as feeling bad about relapses does not at all contribute to improvement in any way, but forgiving yourself (and others) has been scientifically proven to improve your body and mind chemistry.

The point is to gradually increase your awareness and practice until it becomes automatic. New habits will seem impossible at first, as your brain resists change, and there will be a stage where you will question your desire to continue, even as you start to see benefits. If you persist, however, you will eventually reach a stage where it just feels natural, and you no longer have to work to perform your habit. Hal Elrod broke habit forming into three stages – unbearable, uncomfortable, and unstoppable.

If you have anxiety or depression, while this is not a cure by any means, it is an exercise that will help minimize the secondary and tertiary physical repercussions of those conditions.

 

Timeline Therapy

If you identified beliefs, but have struggled to remember the moments and events that generated them, or you remember the moments, but they cause you great grief, trauma, or fear, you will want to find a certified or licensed practitioner of this approach (I am not, yet). There have even been successes using this method to alleviate and eliminate allergies.

Like I shared last week, many human performance optimization professionals insist that you have to confront the source of pain before you can really move forward and create a new future. Timeline therapy is like mental laser surgery where, while in a trance state, you float backward through your timeline to hone in on those moments you may have buried or find hard to confront to reframe the event and create a new belief that services your highest good.

Again, you will want to engage a licensed professional, especially if these moments are traumatic. Be under someone’s care. I will just outline some of the steps involved in timeline therapy.

  1. Close your eyes and, with eyes closed, look up slightly (this induces an alpha brain wave state)
  2. Take a deep breath in; without breath, visualize 3 three times; Repeat with 2, then 1
  3. Count down from X to 1 (depending on your experience with meditation)
  4. Without analyzing, imagine you are flying above your timeline and you have located the moment this anomaly was born
  5. Move to the time 15-minutes before it happened
  6. Think of three OTHER possible meanings or causes this event could have
  7. Choose one that serves you best and drop it, as if you are downloading it, into the timeline in place of the event that caused the anomaly
  8. TEST: Does this anomaly still resonate as true?

 

Next week I will share the two final methods of this series, but this is by no means an exhaustive list. In fact, I have a list of 30+ different exercises, some of which are meant to activate the Law of Attraction, though all are intended to help you achieve breakthroughs in your performance and results. I will eventually share them all, and I am currently deciding if I will share these in a second 30-day transformation e-book, if I will include them in a 30-day or 3-month online group course, or if I will hold local live events and focus on one method per event. I may wind up doing a combination. If this interests you, please share which venue you prefer.  Also share if you try any of these methods and your results or lack thereof.

 

3 of 7 Methods of Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs for Career Breakthrough

Posted on by in Campaigns, Managing life | Leave a comment

Breakthrough by 4rank of Flickr

Last week I challenged you to find out who’s really making decisions – is it you or your subconscious belief system?

If you found that like most people, including myself, somewhere in your past an event happened, and you made it mean that there are limits to how successful, happy, loved or wealthy you can be, I want to gift you some methods that you can experiment with to determine what is the most effective way for you to overturn and overcome the limits imposed by these beliefs.

Just so you know how much I can relate to you, I have identified 20 different beliefs about money and influence that have prevented me from achieving the growth goals I set for my business in its first 10 years. It was in my second year of business that I started becoming more aware of the influence of these beliefs.

  1. There is not enough to do what I want (but there was, I had to fight to get it)
  1. I am selfish if I want it
  1. I already have too much; I am a spoiled brat
  1. More for me means less for someone else
  1. I should not have more than bro/mom/dad
  1. Money is an exchange; I have to give something
  1. It is hard to earn
  1. I have to hunt it down
  1. I should not hold on to it; it goes to others before me
  1. It is not there when I need it
  1. It goes away; it does not last
  1. I should not be trusted with it
  1. I cannot have influence without it, and I resent that
  1. I need it to be included, yet I resent that
  1. I need it to create, and I resent that
  1. What I want is silly, wrong
  1. I should only want what I need and nothing more
  1. It is a weapon
  1. It causes problems/fighting
  1. It is not safe with me, or safe to have – it makes me a target

I have tried MANY methods over the last nine years. The key to my breakthrough, which finally began last year, has been consistency – as in, habit/ritual. I work to reinforce a healthful belief system several times a day now, though it started out as experimenting, then spurts/sprints, then I would only research and incorporate new practices when I was at a point of desperation, then I started doing a Miracle Morning and began to start my day every day with a routine that brings me into a state of peace, faith, intuition, and high performance. It feels so good now, and the results are so reinforcing, that I will take many moments throughout the day to recognize, appreciate, heal and strengthen a belief system more in support of my highest good and highest success.

Once you find something on this list works well for you, I encourage you to incorporate it into a morning ritual for 30 days. Keep a journal and record your thoughts, even your doubts, as well as results.

 

Visualization

Visualization is not synonymous with positive thinking, which many people have tried and found it failed them. The difference is that you are not replacing a negative thought with a positive thought. You may notice negative thoughts – doubts, skepticism, even cynicism – arise. Just let them float by like boats on the water. The point is to tap into your imagination to mentally experience the utmost outcome, and bring the full spectrum of emotions and senses into your experience. Learn to harness and apply this power to create a life by design, simply by creating a vision that excites you each waking day. It is much easier to be PULLED into doing what needs to be done, than to PUSH, or motivate yourself, to take action.

Studies show that your brain does not distinguish between a memory, a real event, or an imagined event. The more you can create a positive experience that releases feel-good chemicals, like dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin, the more addicted you will be to that positive experience, and the more you will be compelled to recreate that experience.

One shortcoming that some human performance coaches will point out about visualization is that the negative beliefs do not completely go away – there is pain associated with that belief and many believe that the pain, or the wound, needs to be healed before it truly disappears.

 

Hypnosis

If you think hypnosis is quackery, you would be ignoring science and history. Evidence of hypnosis was found in prehistoric days, and it was applied during the Civil War as pain relief for amputations and other painful procedures when medical pain relief resources were in short supply. Many people use it to successfully quit smoking, lose weight, relieve pain, sleep better or overcome crippling fears.

I personally and successfully used it to naturally give birth twice. With my first daughter, I endured five days of labor (my water did not break), complete with back labor, which was the most painful part, and finally delivered her without drugs, without tearing, and without intervention. In fact, we came home with her just hours after I delivered her. It also got me through breastfeeding complications.

While hypnosis may be the most expedient method of releasing and replacing belief systems that do not serve you, it may not be instant. In many cases these belief systems have layers upon layers, and reinforcement is necessary. The self-study course that I took, Hypnobabies, was a six-week long course that I actually continued with for the rest of my pregnancy, so another six months.

I was so impressed by hypnosis, in fact, that I have entertained becoming certified myself to help my clients achieve even greater levels of success.

There is a fee associated with hiring a hypnotist, and there are also free hypnosis tracks on YouTube. You may find that it is more effective to be in the serene setting of a professional’s office, putting your mental welfare into the hands of a professional, or you may opt to start where you are most comfortable, at home.

 

Peace Process/Instant Miracle/The Sedona Method

Different variations of this have been used by various teachers throughout my journey, but I will give you the basics. Theses methods are based on the mind-body connection brought into mainstream awareness by Deepak Chopra, then Wayne Dyer, in the 80s through the new millennium, but it was “discovered” centuries ago and has been the primary way to treat maladies in eastern medicine. Basically, you can recognize that your emotions cause a physical reaction in your body, and more prominent, traumatic or prolonged emotions will tend to cause a sensation that may manifest as pain or discomfort in a particular part of your body.

  • Think about the stimulus that causes anxiety, stress, depression, etc. For job seekers, it could be interviewing, networking, the change of landing a new job itself, or asking for a better compensation package.
  • Close your eyes to block out visual stimulus and be present to sensations in your body.
  • Where does your body experience this emotion?
  • On a 1-10 scale, how do you rate the sensation?
  • Get fully in touch with the sensations there for 90 seconds – allow yourself to feel them, without any suppression.
  • Send it love and acceptance while breathing in deeply with mouth closed and breathing out sharply and forcefully with mouth open, pursed lips.
  • Repeat until the sensation rates 0 (absent) on the scale.

 

These are just three of the many methods I can share, and I will cover four more next week, but this is a good start. I encourage you to start tomorrow – the sooner you start to defeat these defeatist thoughts that lead to defeatist action (or non-action), the sooner you can start to craft a life by design.

Please share any revelations or results that you experience.

 

How Can Anybody Get Anything Done These Days?

Posted on by in Managing life, Social Media | Leave a comment

Social Media by Magicatwork of Flickr

 

It has been an interesting past few months on social media. I can personally say it has been much more of a distraction now than it has ever been.

My usual tricks for limiting the amount of time that I spend engaging in non-work related activities on social media have had much less of an impact, and in a lot of cases it’s like I’ve forgotten all about them.

(I will share them in a bit.)

I do not post or comment a lot on political subjects, but I do feel a need to stay informed. This leads to observing very heated discourse between people on both sides of various topics.

I do not seek to persuade anyone, but I do seek to understand both sides. Unfortunately, in most cases I don’t find understanding. Instead, I noticed that I’ve just wasted an extra 15 minutes, sometimes even longer, reading commentary that upsets me. Then I spend another 15 minutes trying to find content that will help me get back into a healthier, more positive, more productive mindset.

Generally, I have noticed that I feel a little more powerless and that has led to a lot more anxiety. I have noticed that people I like to spend time with, I avoid now, knowing that they are very vocal on the opposite side of my beliefs. This makes me sad and I do not feel as connected to these people who used to bring such joy to my life.

I have a given an exception for invitations to meet new network contacts, and favor shorter get-to-know-you phone calls to avoid topics that usually tend to emerge when you sit down with someone for longer than a half hour.

My practice of being happy has required a lot more diligence to overcome these obstacles. I tend to want to immerse myself in more positive content just to normalize myself into a state where I can get done what is on my agenda to fulfill my mission.

Then I wonder about all of these people who are engaging in heated discourse. Some of them seem to go back-and-forth all day defending their original statement and refuting others. I’m seeing referencing data, which may not have just been at their fingertips. It is clear that they have taken the time to search and find this data simply to prove to a stranger that they are right and the other is wrong.

The upsetting thing for me is not that people disagree. I believe that is part of the beauty of our country. The upsetting thing is the name-calling and the dismissing other people’s opinion as being a product of ignorance, lack of morals, or low intelligence.

As a human being prone to bias just like anyone else, as per my previous post, I may make the same initial assumptions, but I know logically that even if there is a different belief system driving people to reside on an opposite side than me, my beliefs are not better than theirs, nor are they worse. It is just very difficult using the medium of social media and a venue like emotionally-charged sound bites, to really get down to the understanding that would enable me to draw a more accurate conclusion.

This desire to understand, however, is not only unsatisfying but unproductive. Especially while my first quarter initiatives have been riddled with technical setbacks and difficulties, it has been even easier for me to justify the distraction of so called informing myself and seeking understanding. I’m at a crossroads and I have to make a change.

No, this isn’t my usual “insight, expertise and practical tips” post. This is something I am still in the middle of figuring out, and I know that I’m not alone. I am hoping we can help each other figure it out. Here are some things that I have done in the past that have been successful in helping me curb succumbing to the siren of social media:

 

Lists on post-its

I cannot always opt to just to avoid social media; it is part of my job. Not only do I market myself on social media, but I also help others leverage it to increase opportunity. That means staying in tune with changes, staying up on navigation and future updates, and listening and observing to help others effectively use social media. Lists may not seem like that ingenious of an idea, but the key is keeping them visible. I write a sticker for whatever I am there on social media to accomplish and stick it to my screen. It serves as a constant reminder that I am there for a purpose.

 

A timer

It is a best practice to decide the night before what I really need to accomplish the next day and break my day up into segments. If you are someone who experiences high-level anxiety when things don’t go as planned, this may actually increase your stress. The purpose is not to be rigid, but to be intentional. If something happens to take longer than anticipated, I know that I have to adjust the rest of the day and the activities, perhaps making some sacrifices to make sure that the most important things get done.

In The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferris, I learned that we will tend to take as long as we give ourselves to complete a project. This is why some people wait until the last minute to finish a project– they feel it will ultimately take them less time than if they started early. Of course, waiting until the last minute can cause problems when unexpected events and challenges occur. Tim Ferris does not recommend waiting until the last minute, but he does recommend giving yourself and others an early fake deadline. In applying his advice, not only will I manage a larger project like this, but also milestones, mini-projects and tasks.

When it comes to things like writing and social media, I know my tendencies are to get sucked in and take too much time. These are the things that I time. I might give myself an hour to write a blog, but when it comes to social media I will keep the time very short, I favor multiple short visits versus blocking a significant amount of time to get everything done. For instance, I will avoid social media until I have gotten the most impactful things out of the way. I will have already have meditated, and I certainly will have already broken my day down. Then I will schedule three 10 minute time slots intended for short postings that I will write outside of social media first. The next day I will allocate an hour to posting a client’s LinkedIn profile content. Then I plan when I will engage in social media for personal pleasure and interaction. I usually do this during a meal, unless I am eating with someone. I may slip in again while my kids brush their teeth at night. This is ideally where it would stop.

 

Turn off notifications

Social media designers know what they’re doing, and their intention is to make you come back over and over again. They want you addicted. Turning off notifications can be tough when potential clients and customers reach you through these venues and their needs are immediate, for instance if you’re a plumber and you deal with a lot of plumbing emergencies. Realistically, you would want to have someone else handling any incoming inquiries, because most of your time would ideally be spent helping customers. When you have a different quandary – make sure whoever is assisting you with incoming leads isn’t wasting their time on social media.

If these strategies alone do not help you minimize the amount of time that you spend not getting closer to your goals, there are some apps that can help you block websites for periods of time. SelfControl, StayFocsd, and Cold Turkey may help. If your job requires you to be on social media, these tools maybe too inhibitive for you.

If you have noticed a decrease in your quality of life and relationships, and you believe there might be a correlation between this and your social media usage, I encourage you to try these tricks.

However, if these tricks do not work and you sense that your social media habits will continue to have a cost to your life, consider that you might be suffering from FOMO (fear of missing out). While this legitimate syndrome recognized by psychologists is not just limited to social media and users thereof, you may be able to look at your social media usage as either a symptom or a cause, and reach out for help.

 

As I am committed to relieving myself from the potential costs that social media has been imposing on my own life, I would love to hear others strategies and tactics.

 

Now More Than Ever, Empathy and EQ Are Critical

Posted on by in Goal Achievement, Managing life | Leave a comment

Empathy by Aslan Media of Flickr

THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL POST.

Now more than ever, in a divided country in conflict, organizations and employees will need to find ways to bridge the chasms that continue to grow between ideologies in order to enable an optimized future for us all.

Should these adults just be able to suck it up, work together, focus on the task at hand and get business done? Well, yes. However, studies we have cited in the past have proven that happiness impacts profits, and in this blog our focus is on EQ and empathy, and their impact on profits. Also, we will focus on what YOU as a leader (whether or not you are a manager) can do TODAY to be empathetic, raise your EQ, improve the everyday experience of being at work, and contribute to greater profits.

Why should profits be so important? Because the profitability of businesses enables prosperity by ways of job creation, wage growth, higher spending, and improved quality of life. If there is one thing that can unify us, it is that we would all love to live better.

Empathy is the ability to step into someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective. It requires NOT making assumptions, but rather actively listening to someone else’s story, insights, beliefs and concerns without discrediting or judging them.

Employees with a high EQ (Emotional Quotient) possess the ability to be empathetic. It can be taught or innate, it is facilitated by having a curiosity of others, and a desire to seek to understand. When you have a high EQ, you are not prone to mislabeling others’ emotion, and certainly not calling people names.

Daniel Goleman has purported that EQ is even more important than IQ. Why? It is the human in us all. It is the fundamental desire for love and acceptance. Most of us have our physiological needs met, and beyond feeling safe, Maslow identified that people want to be loved and want to belong. Nothing gets done without people. The fastest way to accomplish anything is through people, even in an age of automation. You still need people to approve, implement and maintain automated systems.

It makes sense, though: The more self-actualized your people are, the better they will perform.

Conversely, failing to address a sense of alienation will promote segmentation and silos that will increase unnecessary bureaucratic and political obstacles to collaboration, creativity, and progress.

What are your alternatives to using empathy to confront conflicts that exist OUTSIDE of business to avoid those obstacles?

Hire only people who agree. Have only customers and vendors who agree.

Good luck with that.

What you can do is simple in that it does not require complex steps, but it is challenging, because it does require that you acknowledge and dismiss your ego when it starts to want to make sure you’re right, that you look good, and that the other person is wrong and looks bad.

WE ALL DO IT! It is just that people with a high EQ can distinguish between an ego response and an empathy response.

 

STEP 1 – ASK

Ask the other person questions that help you understand why something is so important to them. What you might have thought was a lack of values, is really just a difference in experience that places a higher priority on different values. This can take place in a workshop or team-building environment, or it can be a simple one-on-one.

 

STEP 2 – LISTEN

Active listening means that you are listening with the intention of understanding, not responding. If you do not understand something, ask more. I will warn you that the second a person senses that they are being judged, the energy of the exchange shifts. Judging is something we all do. It is okay to admit that you are human. If you recognize that your judgments are interfering with your understanding, admit your fault and reassert your desire to achieve an understanding. It will humble you and put you both back on equal, human ground.

 

STEP 3 – DON’T DEFEND

The purpose of this conversation is NOT to explain yourself. That is your ego’s need to be understood. If the other person has a high EQ, they may be curious about your point of view, too. Be very careful not to negate what they say as untrue, invalid, or irrelevant. You are able to share your point of view without doing that, and this is a practice of EQ.

That’s it. That’s all it takes to start practicing empathy and raising your EQ.

Of course, you can take this practice very far, and the farther you take it, the more you will contribute to your company and the faster you will grow in your career.

Curious how high your EQ is? Take this quiz.

 

If you’re curious to what I have done to improve my own EQ, it was the Landmark Forum. There is one near you. I went in 2008 to help manage the stress that I experienced dealing with other people’s shortcomings only to discover and appreciate the beauty of being human, imperfectly perfect… or perfectly imperfect… or BOTH.

Share with me (us) some ways that empathy (or lack thereof) has been impacting your work life.

 

Will Achieving Your 2017 Goals Really Make You Happy?

Posted on by in Managing life | Leave a comment

Void by George Batistatos of Flickr

Have you ever noticed how once you put your attention on something you seem to see it everywhere?

For example, when you decide there is a certain car you want to buy, suddenly it appears all the time.

An odd thing happened this weekend, and I kept noticing a recurring theme in everything I read and everything I watched.

It started as I set a weekend goal to tidy up my house and further my annual goal of clearing out all the clutter in my house. For inspiration I started watching a documentary on Netflix called Minimalism. To get to the point, this documentary was not really about tidying up as much as it was about exploring our attachment drive to acquire stuff. The people interviewed all tend to have a perception based on their own experience that people acquire things to fill a void.

On Sunday morning I watched a Mindvalley video in which Marisa Peer tells the audience that in her experience, which has been working with some of Hollywood’s elite, people seek out fame and fortune because they do not feel like they are enough. They do not feel loved or lovable, and so they seek out love from the public. The video title was “How to Get Absolutely Anything You Want.” I was listening to it as I was coloring in my Mike Dooley Notes from the Universe Coloring Book alongside my daughters. I had to turn the video off, however, as she got into some really sad stories that I did not want my girls to hear. Nevertheless, the theme of filling a void seemed to continue to percolate in my mind.

Even the night before, I saw an older movie on HBO with Angelina Jolie, where she played a reporter driven to land a network job, thwarted by a prediction from a homeless man that she would die. I won’t spoil it for you, but this movie also aligned with the theme of a misguided pursuit of happiness, in which we think one thing is going to make us happy, but the truth is that it is empty. It does not fill our void, and we can either acknowledge that and fill the void with true meaning, or continue to seek out better and better stuff thinking that it will fill the void, but continuing to feel empty.

As I shared last week, I am in the middle of reading Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani. I am right at the part where he talks about how the major shift happened for him and his business grew 400% in eight months. It was after he realized that the goals that he had for his business were not making him happy.

There was even one more thing that I watched and continue to align with this theme. Strange, right?

(Side note: some people ask me how I come up with topics every single week. I have a backlog of ideas, as I see inspiration in so many different places, and you can tell from my weekend activities, that I am constantly seeking out new knowledge and wisdom, and so I tend to find it and feel compelled to pass it on to you. This case was extraordinary, that I could notice a theme so prevalent that I could not ignore it. It was as though I was made to write about it this week, even though I had something else lined up.)

A former client and friend, Jack, started off his year in a pretty epic way. He was one of the first fans to be invited as a fighter on Movie Fights, a show frequented by Kevin Smith (of Mall Rats fame) in which movie geeks engage in passionate debate about various movie topics. Friday’s episode was about the best movie of 2016. I have not seen La La Land yet, and I won’t spoil it for you, but arguments against La La Land in this episode included the superficiality of Hollywood and whether or not we should feel good about the characters, who are trying to decide if they choose love over ambition. (Go, Jack!)

If you are not a career coach like I am, you might not see the connection between this theme and your career. I will tell you now that I have no conclusions to share with you, but I do challenge you to project yourself into the future when you achieve your 2017 goals. Ask yourself, will it be enough? What is enough?

 

Are your 2017 goals designed to fill a void? What would really fill that void?

AND…Will filling that void really make you happy, or can you choose to be happy now? Can you accept that you are enough, you have enough, and you do enough?

How did contemplating these questions make you feel? Did you notice a physical reaction?

What goals can you create, pursue, and achieve that will bring wholeness to your life?

Please, share your thoughts, insights and reactions.

 

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